(Kaieteur News) – Back in de old days, when yuh hear somebody seh dem gat fireside in dem house, nobody ain’t thinking about decoration. Dem was talking about a mud-baked stove.
That fireside was a serious piece of equipment. Yuh put some firewood and coal inside, blow till yuh nearly faint, and before long de whole kitchen hot enough to roast a breadfruit without even putting it near de fire.
And de curry!
Boy, curry cook on fireside had a different kind of authority. Chicken curry, duck curry, bunjal beef—anything cook on dem old fireside had flavour that could make a man forget he was supposed to be watching his blood pressure.
The heat from that fireside was so powerful that if yuh stand up too close, yuh could feel yuh eyebrows reconsidering their career.
But times change.
Today, when people tell yuh dem gat a fireside in de house, dem ain’t talking about no mud stove. Dem talking about one big fancy contraption imported from some cold country where people does wake up and find snow blocking de front door. Dem things does sit in de living room looking real sophisticated, waiting to warm up people who already living in a country where de sun does behave like it got personal issues with everybody.
And Guyanese people buying them. Some stores in Guyana actually selling firesides. Some of dem does call it fireplace. Fireside! Fireplace! In Guyana! A country where the weather does already provide free heating from January straight through December. We so foreign-minded that some people does install fireside in de living room, then turn on de air-conditioner to cool down de room.
Only in Guyana yuh could see a man sitting five feet from a fireside, wearing a jersey, with the air-conditioner humming overhead, and he still complaining, “Boy, this place cold, bai.”
Cold? Outside the temperature is trying to boil the Atlantic Ocean. The man probably have the thermostat set to “Antarctica” while the fireside working overtime like it owe him money.
Then somebody does come into the room and ask, “Why de fireside on?”
“Fuh ambiance.”
Ambiance! Back in the old days, fireside was for cooking. Today, fireside is for vibes. Next thing yuh know, somebody gon install a fireplace in the bedroom, put on two blankets, turn on the AC, and complain that Guyana weather is too unpredictable. Dem boys seh Guyana is the only place where yuh could freeze while sweating. And if that ain’t development, dem boys don’t know what is.
Talk half. Leff half.
Source: Kaieteur News
